Guess what? This lucky bug is heading to an Erykah Badu show tonight in Oakland! With Ryan, Cat, and a friend of Cat’s (and I’m guessing we’ll run into a whole bunch of folks at the Paramount). And Janelle Monáe is opening. Looking forward to some amazing artistry and musicianship, and also to some marvelous audience engagement skills. (Video description and lyrics below the fold.)
(Random Sidenote: In order to stay up past my bedtime, I may need to treat myself to a rare favorite beverage: fresh-brewed soy chai with a shot of espresso. When I was in high school, my crew’s nighttime haunt, True Love Coffeehouse, used to call this concoction a “Jostled Gandhi.”)
And guess what else? Starting Monday, I’ll be guest-blogging for two whole weeks over at Feministe, a feminist news-media-and pop-culture group blog that I’ve been following for years now. Even wrote part of my college thesis about them. Exciting stuff!
Since I’ll be devoting a lot of time to composing posts for Feministe, there probably won’t be too much regular Kloncking happening here. But I’ll cross-post everything I write, so please feel welcome — and warmly invited — to comment either here or there.
A lovely new stat dragon (first two here and here) by the fantastic John Kovaleski, another of my cohorts at Goddard. John is the kind of person you want on your life team: hilarious, kind, talented, hardworking, humble, and just the right amount of weird. Creator of the adorable “Bo Nanas” cartoon, he’s also working on a wonderful illustration installation project, “Used Books Unbound,” that involves drawing cleverly on the pages of books. It’s an honor to share this little green beast from John’s formidable brain!
And speaking of stat dragons, my original post (with the fabulous Bruce) is featured in this month’s issue of the Zen Peacemaker’s (ZP) online newsletter, Bearing Witness! (Sidebar, under “Resources For Mindful Technology Use.”) The May edition focuses on socially engaged Buddhism online, with some familiar topics (the digital divide; Twitter in Iran; Wisdom 2.0 — the book and the conference, where I tried to raise some economic issues) and some I’d never heard of (Second-Life demonstrations for Tibet; Burmese protest marches organized via Facebook). Ari Pliskin, ZP tech master and architect of these monthly newsletters, was a lovely houseguest here at the Fools last weekend when we both attended the Wisdom 2.0 Summit. An opportunity to get to know the good-hearted man behind the media. :)
Have a good weekend, everybody! More excitement in store for Monday.
Hey friends! I’m really excited about this dana (generosity) drive for one of my oldest blogging inspirations, brownfemipower of Flip Flopping Joy. Her latest computer has died on her, and after decades (in blog-years) of providing brilliant, soulful commentary in a dope synthesis of journal/journalistic blogging on radical mamis, motherhood, U.S. immigration, wisdom, resistance, healing, and community, it’s high time she got a decent machine worthy of her gifts. The target amount to secure a MacBook Pro: $2000.
The reason I’m fundraising for so big of an amount is because I have been working on second hand/hand me down computers for about six years now–the entirety of my time blogging. And that means that I’ve gone through a ton of computers. I’ve had one catch on fire, one of them the cat broke, another one the little mouse nob in the middle of the keyboard doesn’t work anymore (so I have no mouse), and of course, this last one–the keyboard is broken.
And as if the opportunity for awesome radical POC artist solidarity and sharing weren’t enough, BFP is giving away gifts corresponding to the amount donated. Cards! Zines! Sur-prizes! Fabulous.
Trust me, I never thought I’d pick up any sort of self-help book. Even when I worked at Harvard Book Store and shelved the Personal Growth section, I don’t think I so much as thumbed through a single volume. But, as it turns out, some self-help books can teach us how to, like, help ourselves. It’s kinda nifty.
Specifically, this weekend I got my hands on a library copy of Soren Gordhamer’s little handbook, Wisdom 2.0, and it is actually, materially improving my life. Reminding me of many of the insights I came to independently last year about healthy Internet usage, and adding lots of practical tools to my existing repertoire. The snappy magazine tone isn’t my favorite — partly because it tends to veer into upper-class magazine generalizations, where the only external causes for stress are cranky co-workers and long lines at Starbucks, rather than, you know, institutional racism. For the most part, though, the content is solid. This piece, particularly, proved instantly helpful:
An old Zen saying reads:
When sitting, just sit. When standing, just stand. Above all, don’t wobble.
In our age, we might change this to:
When e-mailing, just email. When talking on your cell, just talk on your cell. Above all, don’t talk while emailing.
For most of us, the talking, working, or surfing online are not what is stressful; it’s the time we spend wobbling. It’s the multitasking and unconsciously switching back and forth between modes of communication…This can be exhausting and stressful when such transitions are done unconsciously and habitually. We can, however, learn to consciously change channels so instead of draining our energy by continuously multitasking, we move with ease from one mode to another. (27)
This means a few things for me. One, I’m re-adopting a practice I developed last summer, in Europe, of leaving open only one window on my laptop at a time. Just one at a time. Either my Internet browser, or my word processor, or iPhoto, or Skype, etc. This clears up a shocking amount of head space and lets me concentrate on one task at a time. Surprisingly, I find that this elevates not only focus, but also enthusiasm. I feel lighter and more at ease when I have a single task before me. I can even see my lovely green desktop photo behind my one window, instead of a cluttered layer of more programs.
If someone calls my cell phone, I pause and determine whether my time is better spent answering right now, or staying with my computer project and hitting them back later. If someone approaches me in person, or the kettle whistles, I take a moment to deliberately shift all of my attention to the real-time project. And far from slowing me down, this approach actually cuts down enormously on wasted time, and helps me spend my energies in a more pleasurable way.
That’s another thing: this book is reminding me that waiting can be pleasurable! Waiting for photos to upload, waiting for a page to refresh, waiting for a wireless connection to come through…simply by reworking my own mind, I experience them as moments of rest and alert relaxation, not impatience and weird greedy hypnosis. (Staring at the loading bar, anyone?)
Of course, there may be issues, like a colleague’s continual tardiness to meetings, which need to be addressed. However, if we do not blame the person for our discomfort, if we do not bring our dissatisfaction with our inner life into the issue, then we can more skillfully address the problem. We see that the situation provides an opportunity for learning, and we can address it without the extra frustration.
This does not mean that we can use this as an excuse for our own actions. The next time we are criticized by our manager for showing up late to a meeting, it is probably not best to reply, “Well, if you weren’t so uncomfortable with your inner life, this would not be a problem. Deal with yourself.”
It was during such a bright, cheerful pause in a French café last summer, while 20 photos took 10 minutes or so to upload, that the germ for this post (one of my favorites, I think) arose.
Anyhow, this little manual is certainly shaping up to be a pleasant surprise. (I’m about 2/3rds through.) And speaking of mildly embarrassing interests, it has even diminished my skepticism enough to warrant one more student registration for the Wisdom 2.0 Summit in Mountain View, coming up this very weekend. (Crazy — Ari Pliskin of Zen Peacemakers had mentioned it to me a while back, and I knew he would be in town for it, but none of that occurred to me last week when I found the book at the library and picked it up. Too odd a coincidence not to explore, even though it means dropping the bulk of my dog-sitting earnings on the conference fee.)
May your back and neck, forearms, eyes and mind be well this week, my dears, however much time you log in front of a screen.
xkcd gets a little Buddhist on us. This strip is a wonderful illustration of the concept of “maya,” or the illusion that makes up our subjective world.
Buddhist perspectives on this will vary according to tradition and individuals, of course, but the way I see it, to describe the world as illusory is not to claim that the world doesn’t exist. When we talk about attachment to illusion, what we’re really describing is the way we react to all sensory inputs (including thoughts) as though they were solid, permanent, and inherently meaningful. We grab onto them (or flee) for dear life. We press more buttons!!! It’s important!
But why? Just like the images on our computer screens, our experience is pixellated: reducible to smaller and smaller (or larger and larger) units that alter the meanings we ascribe to familiar phenomena. When we investigate the ultimate nature of these phenomena (including, most importantly and terrifyingly, our “selves”), we see that they are essenceless. There is no core meaning hidden among the quarks. Just impersonal vibrations; lights.
Now, I’m not saying that when somebody’s pointing a gun to my head, all I need to do is remember, “This gun is made of a bunch of atoms,” and all will be well. Apparent, superficial reality does matter, and we can’t escape or control it by intellectualizing it. What we can do is learn to live with reality, as reality — which means remaining awakened to the constant impersonal changes in our lives. Changes that our deep mind is constantly processing, reacting to with craving or aversion, while our proximate mind is busy spinning its own stories, going about the day executing a slightly more complex version of “pressing buttons to make the pattern of lights change however I want.”
When we quiet our mental chatter, gain some insight into the impermanence of phenomena, and train the mind to respond with equanimity, we create more spaciousness and freedom to respond, not react, to lights and pixels. Rather than fearing, hating, craving or ignoring them, we can interact with them with greater patience, wisdom, and skill.
Awakening, graduating from ardent button-pressing, isn’t simple, and it isn’t easy. Far as I can tell, it takes a loooong time, and much diligence. A month from now, I’ll head back down to North Fork, CA for my third 10-day silent Vipassana meditation course, which is the form of practice most useful to me in dealing with the pixel problem. 10-day courses are tough. The hardest work I’ve ever done, by far — and also the most rewarding.
Wishing us all well in developing practices to deal with our metal boxes. I mean lives.
It’s amazing to think back six months to when I first arrived in the Bay Area, with nothing to do but look for work. No major activities, no responsibilities to anyone. How can things change so much in six short months?
Faithful Fools: apprenticing with Tenderloin spiritual-realist matriarchs
Art school: blogging and theorizing; submitting monthly assignments
Political education: post- organizing for March 4th, now regrounding myself through study groups
Dharma: deepening my daily meditation, seeking out communities of advanced practitioners
Relationships: a partner, a posse, friends, family, and a few animals
Yeah, it’s feelin’ like a lot.
And I’ve been hanging on to the blogging for dear life, trying like heck to publish every weekday. But the truth is, that kind of frequency costs me the time to consider the meta-questions, to develop my nascent theories of mindful blogging. And that’s what I’m in grad school for, after all!
So for the next little while, I’ll be backing off on the daily posting, probably limiting it to three days a week. I’m genuinely surprised at how difficult this feels for me — how much of a sacrifice or failure it seems — given that, on multiple occasions, I’ve cheerfully abandoned the blog for months at a time. So, as Shaila Catherine might observe, this becomes my work for the moment: developing equanimity in letting go and switching up the schedule.
Spiritual practitioners thrive in unpredictable conditions, testing and refining the inner qualities of heart and mind. Every situation becomes an opportunity to abandon judgment and opinions and to simply give complete attention to what is. Situations of inconvenience are terrific areas to discover, test, or develop your equanimity. How gracefully can you compromise in a negotiation? Does your mind remain balanced when you have to drive around the block three times to find a parking space? Are you at ease waiting for a flight that is six hours delayed? These inconveniences are opportunities to develop equanimity. Rather than shift the blame onto an institution, system, or person, one can develop the capacity to opt to rest within the experience of inconvenience.
A welcome reminder. And a very helpful practice for those of us with wee control issues. Just yesterday, when I found myself spiraling downward into disappointment and resentment at canceled plans, I remembered equanimity. And my disappeared dinner date transformed into a chance to walk, for the very first time, around Oakland’s lovely Lake Merritt.
Gorgeous late afternoon and evening, complete with a sweet springtime surprise.
So who knows — maybe this downsizing of the blog will open up some other opportunities. Regardless, I’m happy for the chance to practice letting go.
Adoring this elephantine addition to the Stat Dragon family. By the terrifically dope Aaron Zonka, who I met at a party where he was literally That Guy In The Corner Quietly Sketching Things Of Genius.
If you’re in the Bay Area, check out his series of fabulous art/music shows, “Under the Table Gallery.” Live performers, exhibitions for sale and viewing, snacks and libations, the whole deal. Next one is April 24th, 5-10pm, 248 Felton Street.
A stat counter is a common tool that lets bloggers see the number of people who visit their site. I learned about it back in 2005, when I first became acquainted with blogs, and have interacted with stat counters and traffic graphs in my bloggerly life ever since. Every day (ok let’s be real: practically every five minutes), I check my traffic chart on Kloncke to see how many people are reading. I glance at the line graph and its 15-day history, with the current day’s data point climbing ever upward until the stroke of midnight, when its ascending carriage takes a pumpkin-like tumble back down to zero. New day, new stats.
Within the past few months, I noticed myself monitoring my stat charts with increasing closeness and intensity. It became sort of embarrassingly compulsive. I checked my traffic at Gmail-like intervals (read: Too Frequently). And of course, my heart would soar and sink according to the graph’s altitude.
High: high.
Low: low.
Many page views: “My writing is helping people.”
Few views: “This blogging thing is just a narcissistic waste of time.”
Et cetera.
And then, the real kicker: auto-adjusting scale.
Let’s say I’ve been plugging along on my little blog for a month, and one day I get 25 views, the next day 30, the next day 7, and so on. The top of the y-axis represents the largest number of views in a single day: 150. The smallest, one notch above zero, is 3. Then, one day, the blog is viewed 170 times. What happens to the chart?
Anushka's techno-meditation: trying to stay mindful while using our favorite devices.
It’s been a looooong work day, friends, and there’s no time to get into the articles I was hoping to cover today (1, 2), but I want to offer a little teaser for a post that’s been brewing in my head for quite a while, and which began to peck its way out of its shell this Saturday, during a daylong workshop at the East Bay Meditation Center.
The beautifully conducted workshop, led by Anushka Fernandopulle, focused on Dharma & Technology: how we can apply the insights of the historical Buddha to our relationships with gadgets in our modern lives. I could go on about how dope the retreat was, including the fact that it, like all programming at EBMC, is offered on a dana (donation) basis. And how the participants all had fascinating and diverse experiences, concerns, and celebrations with their techno-tools. And how almost all of the participants were female-presenting women, which certainly surprised me. And how it helped me change my relationship with Facebook. All of that is so.
But one of the most exciting results, for me, was the final formation of this idea of mine for a project called Stat Dragons. The project is about dharma, blogging, craving, contentment, art, and yes, dragons. It involves talented illustrator friends of mine. And its first installment will premiere this week on Kloncke.
Many thanks to Anushka and all the fabulous workshop participants and volunteers. It was a wonderful environment in which to incubate my dragon egg.
Loved this post from American Buddhist Perspective. Sometime this week I think I’ll finally have a minute to offer a list of my own favorite “mindful blogging” spaces. This entry is a prime example: a blogging praxis that creates a tight dialectical relationship between online and offline life, encouraging and enhancing mindfulness — present awareness, plus hopefully wisdom and compassion — in both.
Thanks, Google, for simply negating my last nine years of study and practice as a so-called Buddhist. Now that I am no longer following Buddha, what will I do? No white letters in cool blue bubbles fade in from the background to tell me.
Sorry Buddha, but the Google Ads in Buzz was uncool. I don’t mind them on websites (to a degree), I don’t mind them on blogs (you can find some here and buy me coffee by clickin ’em), but in buzz, they’re uncool.
In fact I’m not really sold on Buzz as a whole. I’m told that people are following me that I didn’t even know about. My girlfriend told me it forced her to follow me. I chuckle. That’s just so wrong. Who, or what algorithm at the world’s smartest company, is making these decisions?
Twitter (follow me….) has won my heart because most of my blogosphere friends are there. It allows a nice combination of headlines for our mutual blog posts, as well as something of a community chat function for discussion and banter. Not to mention news stories hand-selected by like-minded folks for me to read. Can’t beat that. If twitter is ever clogged with ads like my Buzz today, that too may need to go.
Facebook (add me…) still gets a fair amount of my daily attention, but is growing into a sort of bloated colorful cousin to twitter. I prefer twitter more (I find myself aimlessly meandering on facebook way too often) for its compact, quickly moving aesthetic. What it has and twitter lacks is all of my real (IRL) friends from over the years which makes any annoyances more than worth it. Besides, I should take the opportunities to be mindful in the colorful environment of facebook more seriously. Limiting my daily time. Being purposeful. Focused. And when meandering, just as in meditation, to simply catch it – gently – and ‘come back’ to my main page.
Kloncke 