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softly, like dead leaves

June 26, 2012

questions that fell away from me today, softly, like dead leaves:

am i queer enough?

(tip — float, float, float … tap.)

am i black enough?

(tip — float, float, float … tap.)

am i sexy enough?

(tip — float, float, float … tap.)

am i healing enough?

(tip — float, float, float … tap.)

am i good enough?

(tip — float, float, float … tap.)

am i loved enough?

(tip — float, float, float … tap.)

am i down enough?

(tip — float, float, float … tap.)

and you know?  these leaves will likely grow back again.  that’s okay.  watching them fall was enough.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 27, 2012 8:20 am

    This is beautiful.

    I often struggle with the notion “you are perfect just as you are, and you can do with some improvement”…sometimes it’s just the first part that is given. I happened upon your post this morning, and upon this talk by Mark Coleman about similar stuff that resonated with me: http://media.dharmaseed.org/recordings/2012/06/20120625-Mark_Coleman-SR-the_practice_of_meditation_a_short_talk_and_questions_and_answers_about_practice.mp3

  2. June 27, 2012 10:00 am

    thanks jeff. yes, that’s exactly the paradox i’ve been struggling with, too! there’s so much discourse around “healing” that i find tends to play into my perfectionist tendencies. and of course in organizing, there is always so much emphasis on discernment, improvement, gains. i’ve been experimenting lately with trying to build in areas, in my organizing, for receptive practices in addition to active ones. observing, practicing mindfulness, sharing food at meetings.

    thank you for the link to the dharma talk! i’m in the process of moving, and also heading to spirit rock for a week-long POC retreat, but when i get back i’m sure i’ll be hungry for recorded dharma talks, so i really appreciate having this one in the cue. :)

    hope you’re well, jeff!

  3. jpjesusss permalink
    June 27, 2012 10:29 am

    Have a great retreat. Anushka is one of my absolute favorite teachers of all time. If you haven’t had her before, you’re in for a treat.

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